whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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