well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
