Christians are straight up FREAKS
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
