Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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