When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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