Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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