the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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