i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if only i could text you this smell
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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