I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
