a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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