There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
