Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
