i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize