I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
