we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize