Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
