Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize