my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize