she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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