So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
