Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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