Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
