I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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