my vag is so smooth its legendary
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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