You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
