I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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