It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
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How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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