My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
