I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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