How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
