using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize