I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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