we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
