Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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