are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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