I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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