would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
