Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
