i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
