My hair reeks of homosexuality.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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