True but thats because hes a fetus.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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