you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
please don't ironically join a cult
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