Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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