New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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