I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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