Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
God, I missed his penis.
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