Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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