I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
