you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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