Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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