My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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