I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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