we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
