He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
