haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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