We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize