so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
