I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
