U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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