I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
